🔥 hordes of Dorian Grays, Kurt Vonnegut buys an envelope, Michael Singer on when everything will be ok, best app / website blocker
#62: a weekly 4-item newsletter created to inspire dads to use the challenges of fatherhood as fuel for building an incredible life & an antifragile mind.
Welcome to the 62nd edition of the antifragile 4 🔥.
And my sincerest apologies for missing last week.
We contracted a lovely norovirus on a relaxing (?) trip to Italy for a friend’s wedding and were erased from the face of the earth for 72 hours. We survived and here we are, back at it.
This week, we bring the cautionary tale of Dorian Gray into the modern world. Plus Kurt Vonnegut tells us the most wonderful story of buying an envelope, Michael Singer cools our soul & I share the best app/website blocker I’ve ever discovered.
I hope you enjoy.
With love,
Chris
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Here’s this week’s antifragile 4 🔥:
we walk amongst hordes 🖼️ 💀 of Dorian Grays
Kurt Vonnegut ✉️ buys an envelope
Michael Singer 👌 on when everything will be ok
I found the 🚫 best app / website blocker
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1.) we walk amongst hordes 🖼️ 💀 of Dorian Grays
If you haven’t read The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, here’s a summary:
A young man named Dorian has his portrait painted and becomes jealous that it does not age. He wishes that the portrait would age instead of him. His wish comes true: while he remains youthful and beautiful, the portrait grows older and increasingly grotesque with every immoral act he commits.
Dorian lives a life of indulgence and vice, seemingly untouched by consequence, while the hidden painting bears the hideous marks of his corruption. In the end, when he tries to destroy the hideous portrait, he kills himself, and the painting returns to its original beauty.
Wilde’s metaphor almost writes itself in our modern technological world.
On the surface, we are more beautiful, more productive, more “connected” than ever. But our inner portraits continue to grow increasingly grotesque.
Think of our social media culture. Forward-facing cameras. Curated reels. Digital vitriol. Obsessive comparison. Endless narcissism.
If Wilde was writing today, Dorian Gray would have undoubtedly been cast as an influencer. The parallels are too perfect.
The beauty of self-love, independent thought, curiosity & true connection are summarily traded in for the grotesqueness of self-loathing, comparison, anxiety & hate.
And this condition grows every more “normal” each day.
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But what about the guy who limits social media? Who knows its dangers? Or uses it “just for fun”? Or doesn’t use it at all?
What does his portrait look like?
It’s hard to say. But modern technology’s offer of an increasingly grotesque portrait does not stop at social media.
What about porn? What about bingeing shows? What about compulsive news? What about sports gambling? What about gossip columns disguised as sports publications (which is what I’ve finally realized ESPN is)?
What do these do to your inner portrait?
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None of this is intended as a guilt trip. It’s a reminder.
Because I know two things from personal experience.
These habits & behaviors move my inner portrait away from beauty and towards the grotesque. Almost beyond recognition.
These habits & behaviors are totally normal & acceptable in today’s world.
And because challenging what’s normal & acceptable is what we’re here for, I encourage you to ask yourself: What does your portrait look like? And is it one you’d want the world to see?
2.) Kurt Vonnegut ✉️ buys an envelope
This passage is incredible. How much are we sacrificing to convenience each day?
What can you have a hell of a good time doing today?
Oh, she [his wife] says, well you’re not a poor man. You know, why don’t you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I’m going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And I’ll ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don’t know.
The moral of the story is — we’re here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And what the computer people don’t realize, or they don’t care, is we’re dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And it’s like we’re not supposed to dance anymore.
Kurt Vonnegut
3.) Michael Singer 👌 on when everything will be ok
The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything.
And that’s the only time everything will be okay.
Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul
4.) I found the 🚫 best app / website blocker
After years of trial and error, I’ve found the best app/website blocker.
Ready?
It’s called: being more interested in something else.
A book. A project. An idea. A challenge.
You won’t want to reach for your phone.
You’ll do the other thing instead.
That’s it.
You’re welcome.
(Also - reframing whatever you’re trying to block as “mental poison” doesn’t hurt)
Two last things for you this week:
What’s something that can add beauty to your portrait? Can you act on it today?
Be fire and wish for the wind 🔥
With love,
Chris
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